Thursday, May 10, 2007

What a day...

Today was a good day till mid afternoon. Lots of work but I was sad. No reason in particular just sad. I started to think, why am I soooo sad? I need to talk to my bestfriend. But when your best friend is part of it? what do you do?
I want my life back i suddenly said. I actually yelled it. thank god I was in my car with very loud noise. I deserve better and then I started to cry.
I did talk to my best friend and _was a great help but I would have loved to say what was really on my mind. Its been a while, Im scared or is not the time, or whatever, there has always been something going on that makes it hard for me to say what I feel.
I want to feel secure, loved , cared for. Is that so wrong?
I am actually thinking about moving far, I kinda need it. Sometimes I feel that what I want thats here does not want me so what bother? yes/no?
This past yearhas been hard on lots and a part of me wishes none of this ever happend but another is happy cause I changed alot. and changing for the better is what is all about.

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