La maldita ansiedad

A mi entender la ansiedad es una de las peores cosas que le pueden pasar a una mujer. Que es ansiedad? En mi vocabulario.... Ese nerviososmo, esa intranquilidad que tienes por dentro, esa perocupacion que no te deja dormir, que te tiene cranky, triste, es algo que de proibe dormir , estar tranquila, comer sin que te caiga ma la comida en fin no te deja estar relax, y eso se empieza a notar en muchas cosas como tus relaciones, trabajo, actividades... en fin la ansiedad es lo peor y yo llevo mucho tiempo con esto en high. Hay un medicamento en espesifico que quita la an- ciedad. Señoras y señores,les presento Welbutrin XL 300. Tadddaaa!!!!

Esta majica pastillita luego de dos semanan a tres en tu cuerpo hace maravillas.... voy casi pa dos , y estoy ansiosamente esperando queponche reloj la maldita pepa y me acabe de rescatar, porque si no....cabezas volaran jeje!! nah! un poco violenta no? pero asi me siento. Tic toc...
Oye Welbu...porfa anda has tu trabajo..que yo ya no puedo mas.

Who am I?

I have notice I have become more of what I was a long time ago, but with more edge. Before I got married (high school years) I used to like to watch sports, Dah! I have a brother who played everything, basketball, football, Gotcha, and loved to watch boxing and well my dad loves the sames sports so me...I just got hooked, specially when Jordan... the man was the shit.
Another this is way back I was not a jelous girl, I was very much a person who ppl loved to talked to and hang out with, and I kinda lost all that.

Alot of things have happend to me and changed me in sooooo many ways. Good and bad , the the truth is I am finding my self. late but its happening. Im the kind of chick that can be (comemierda) if I wanted to, I could be that girl.... This is what they calkl me Guaynabita. Yeap, I can do that but the one I like the most is the one of the guy's. I can pull up a chair, sit and drink a Heiniken, play pool...badly..hehehe and play video games . I am that girl that guy's love to hang around, cause they can talk and be themselfs with out having a girl bitch @ everything. Some of them have even said...ur the perfect chick, ...bella, inteligente, gufia, graciosa...but ur such a good frined that it just cant be...
I have enjoyed watching my men sweat it out @ the bioxing ring with friends, drink, play dominoes, poker, even gotcha and yes I can do the date thing , be all pretty and chick like, the sexy heals, and nice underwear, and I can be the converse wearing, jeans and tank top, with a hat kinda chick.

I am pretty darn sad lately, feeling alone, with everything around me falling apart. I do know that God....will be there and one day hopefully sooner that later will make shit happend 4 me.

Resumen: I kinda like who I am today, yes I have loads of work, but Im tiered of being someone that Im not, Im who I am...punto y se a cabo. pq? porque lo digo yo.

A fucked up fact about drinking and rape

The crime of rape occurs whenever a person forces another to do something sexual against that person's will. It's that simple. Remember that:

A person has the right to say no to sex at anytime for any reason.
Rape is never the victim's fault. No one ever asks, wants, or deserves to be raped.
Date or acquaintance rape is all too common.
Women can rape women and men can rape men. Remember what rape is. (Contrary to popular belief, more rapes are committed against men than against women each year.)
Being under the influence of alcohol is never an excuse. If the victim is too drunk to say no, it's still rape. If the perpetrator is too drunk to know what he or she is doing, it's still rape.A large proportion of all rapes are date (or acquaintance) rapes. Reduce your chances of being a victim:

When going out with someone new, don't feel you have to go alone. Go on a group date or meet in a public place.
Socialize with people who share your values and beliefs.
Communicate with your date. Don't send mixed messages.
Be aware and independent on dates. Have options on what you will do, pay your way, provide your own transportation.
Take care of yourself. Don't put yourself in a situation where other people might have to take care of you, because they might not be there.
Be careful about going into someone else's home or inviting them into yours. There are the places most acquaintance rape occurs.
Trust your instincts. If you don't feel comfortable in a situation, leave it.
If things start to get out of hand, leave or protest firmly and loudly.
Don't abuse alcohol and don't date anyone who does.


Remember:
Intoxication is never an excuse for otherwise unacceptable behavior.

Alone....

I have had a shitty month, from the beep, to the beep and oh yeah the beep....I have droped to my lowest, so bad that I have changed my life style to a "T".
It has been a sad and lonely month, more so than other, between fucking Valentine's, my negocio.....yeap! if I can still callled that. jaja!! sarcazan all the way baby, my love life, my love of my life, the stuggle with every small dessision I made has made me a ............ girl.

Im back in therapy......yeap. what a looser. Tosta like never before, more alone...and the wierd thing is, I have tons of ppl who love me and actually like me and care....whatever right, specially when the one thing u want u cant seem to have. (fucked up smile inserted here).

All I just want to say is something real important to God. Yes u heard correctly...God. So here it goes:

God please help me in been better in understanting why things happend to me like they do, why I am suffering so damn much.... Why I cry my self to sleep, why I actract assholes, and loads of married men, and whay I am not happy like I should. Why my love wasen't enough to keep the love of my life happy....and it failed, why I miss my bestfriend soooo much, my entire life in the peat 4 years ......please give me a break, let me be happy, satisfied and just plain ok . Just one time make things never work for me, for my family and for a very special person who I will always love....my Rikky. Give me something to live for.....I have Dante....but hehehe tu sabes a que me refiero.
I want a life with no more tears....unless its all happy tears. hehe!
thanks.

OOOOLALA!!!

Yikes!!!!! He just makes me lol....among other things....
Just joking, his sweeeeeet!