Oh, what hands he has......

Today was super. I got a call from my sis Biann @ 8am......wanna have breakfast, and hang out? yes!!!!! So we had an awesome breakfast and loads of coffee. Them...we went to----.
Then..... the best part. ZEN SPA!!!! I got the best massage EVER. It wasent like others, mabey cause Gabriel had the most incredible manly hands Ever....he did everything just perfect.
First the steam, and sauna..... after 20 min.....I slept for mabey 20 mins and in comes Gabriel.....(bello), while we walk to the room, his asking me if Im well, bla, bla , bla. Then...it begings.... Please take your robe off and lay down, dont worry , ill cover you. hehe! Is there a part your dont want masssage?...yes!!!!Please dont touch my feet, I can kick you....he lol.
Then....I pick, Coconut oil and he began the magic. OMG.....I have never been soooooo relax in my life. it was just what I needed. He even masssaged my head.....lower back, all my fingers, thighs, stomach and welll everything. Ahhhh!
Well after that entite hr. I went an took the best shower ever, washed my hair and left. Uff!!!! Im perfect for .........

Vargas versus Mayorga

Today is the day....!!!! Take out your wallets.
Almost 2 years ago I started a tradition....and I have not missed one fight. I came to realize I f*ing like this sport...Yes I like violence, sweaty men beating each other up, the thrill, screaming out "dale, dale " Yeah....Good times.
So Today is another one, No is not The great Cotto, but its still a fight, so guy's Ill see you all tonight. Last time it was @ my house, and there was loads of beers, so Javi....I want some Heiniken!!!!!

KISS

Nothing to say other that this is the sweetest thing ever. I cried . Please go to this link.
http://www.youtube.com/user/euhenyo

Memories

This weekend though it was a good one, did some stuff, got some great company....got cooked, for, even had some time do do cleaning . Saw my Grandma who I have not seen in almost 2 years, sleep good, and that's a rear thing cause lately I have had my mind filled with shit and to get a good night sleep is ultra wow. Last night after spending time with my fam I got a called and got invited for ice cream and a movie....It was like a date. Even though I had a great time, I could not get something out of my mind. fair? nope!!
Even is an perfect guy comes up to me and asked me out I will be thinking about someone else.
I was pretty happy this weekend, cause well cleaning I found loads of things from my past that made me happy, sad, lol, and a bit teary eye. I found my self missing this person big time. Like a huge part of my heart belong to him and I was okay with that.
He knows this.... Whats he thinking? I have no clue.
Well, As I started to get some of my stuff ready for my Disney trip, I was happy and a bit sad cause this is something I would have love to do with that special someone.
He knows I care. Does that bother me? yeah.... sometime I feel as if he has some king of advantage over the situation...
Not sure what will happened , but well the memories we share will be for ever in my heart.

Friday = Margarita's Chamboard 1800

2 oz Jose Cuervo® 1800 tequila
1 oz Cointreau® orange liqueur
1 oz Chambord® raspberry liqueur
4 oz sweet and sour mix

So tonight...late, late after somethings, I will meet with _______ and have a couple. Yummy, my Friday treat.

SHEDEVIL IS UP @ IT AGAIN

Even though this are not quit as I would like them to be...I can say that its all good. Some ppl will try and put you down, some just want to hurt you in every way possible. Some might actualy suceed. YEAP...some do and boy does it hurt.

Lately I have been working on giving the finger to everyone ho has fuck up my like. Who have made me into the person I am. Some say are yours friends... not to worry, Ill figure it out, some will actually look n feel like they are here for you an then fuck you over.
It take a real great person not to me bothered by shit.
Ill try.
When women try and hurt other women for the hell of it, or cause they think that putting you down might help them...is a bit sad. It may seems as they are great but they have no soul, no heart and are clueless to life.
SO I SAY BRING IT ON.... Some day we will all see what a bitch you are.

MY BESTFRIEND

Last night was a very bad night for me up something happend and turned out to be a great night...well, sort of.
I have been going thru some real bad times, divorse, loneliness, separation, change of life, changing my ways and jobs, friends,you name it, and thru all of this even when most of it ...if not all of it had to do with him....he was always there, in good, bad, ugly, yelling ,screaming, listening, loving me and being there for me all the way. Last night, I flipped .

I have always known, what happend was the trigger to realy listen to my heart and undersataing what I felt for this man.

I have and will most probably never love anyone like I love him. Love makes ppl do and say crazy things. belive you , me its true. I understood that the one reason I never wated to listen was out of fear I will hear something I could not handle. Boy was I wrong...Like I heard ...that would have made a huge diference. Time pases by and you understand lots of things , and you start to get it.
I a terrify, that Ill never have the change to love again.....
So back to what I was saying....I let my mind go, read things that mainly broke my heart and I just went nuts. Sometimes ..ppl do get to mess with your head and sadly enough. it works.

Love is blind, fun, amazing, joyfull, sucky, a blessing and its hard to understand.
Last night my bestfriend did something I never would have imagine...and came to my house. Even though he was way sad, tierd, and drained....he came over, with out me knowing and sat down ...calmed me down, gave me huge's hugs, and we talk. not so easy @ the begining, but ...even though I made him made, frustrated, he stood by me and made me understand how much he loved me and that the way he cares is a very special, way and that it dosesnt matter if no one understands....he is there.
He also said that I need it he will leave and never speak, or just if needed...when I heard that I almost died.
We talk about feelings...I cried, I told him I was in love and will always be.
I have never met anyone so kind, He is more that a man I was married to...his my world, my bestfriend, my happiness, sadness, joy , tears and I miss him too much.

Last night I got it....I saw it in his eyes....I trusted him once aging fully and completely for the first time in almost 3 years. That was a relif. OMG... I was sooo happy cause is not just something you say...its what you say with your eyes...

We had a great talk. Tears , laugh's and loads of yummy hugs made it all better.
Something was lifted and I felt sooo much betetr . His eyes made it all better.
I loved him then and I love him now.
So we lol, and played with my Dante and then he left.
To my bestfriend , my everything....I love you and will always love you. I just hope I have a chance to demostrate it again.

Talk about Dreams.....

THIS IS ONE OF MY DREAMS..... TOKYO BABY!!!!!!!

It does not hurt to Dream

Sometimes you just get caught is wishful thinking. I dont know, sometimes is a dream of mine certain things and sometimes is just wishing real bad for certain things to happend.
Dreaming is great, it kinda pumps you up , and makes all the bad just go away.

Lately I have been doing ton's of it. DREAM,S....ITS THE BEST THERE IS.
No one can take dreams away from you.

THE BEE MOVIE

So last week I had the pleasure of going to the movies with a great friend of mine . We had to see this movie , and well . Can I say CUTE!!!!!!!!
This movie was funny, great color, The caracters were the best. All you can ever want from a movie. This is not just for kids.... I loved it. So go and see this one, You will love it. TRUST!

How do I get by?

How?

Is it that hard to get by? Shit...all I want is a normal, happy life, but its impossible unless I leave the past behind. Ppl say this all the time. I wonder...Have they done such thing? All I want is to be happy, and get what I deserve. love, craziness, happines , good things. For some reason...I have not one thing.
I used to and well, life happend....and crazy bitches stood out. I wonder....when will this be over? when will I start to feel like me again?
I want answers. I demand to be okay for once.

I have done lots to change...but one thing can never change and that is feelings, the heart. I know things will get better, i just wonder when?
I am a good person, Im always thinking about others,....so why is all this happening. I want, need to be smiling again.
I miss everything.

Some one a few days ago told me...girl, you have it all, you look happy, have tons of friends, have a great apartment, Dante, an opportunity of a life time with Demoiselle, travel alot.... what more do you want?... the one thing I want I cant have....everything else falls into second and third place. It sounds bad, but is realidad...mi realidad. The one I want...is the one thing Ill never have. and that is scary, and depresing.
I miss it soooo much, it hurts. Am waiting to heel...but its taking to long. ..Im sick of pretending, Did I fuck up that bad?

All I want is to either get over it all or get back what I had...but somethings got to happend. soon!