Scars for life

why?
Okay, Like I have said before. I have had 3 real long, hard years. Ups and downs like you would not belive. Being divorse, raped having family problems,battle with depression,Been hit, moving, yeah... hard stuff. When your heart gets beat up like that you tend to be carefull. Dont trust anyone, thats the first thing that comes to my mind. So it hurts when the people your close to fuck you up.

Around 6 months ago, someone decide...I needed more drama in my life.
This man ,this man made and still is making my life hell.

When you trust soomeone and that someone plays with your trust, just makes me want to puke. I thought I had been through everything. Nope not even close.

All im gonna say is once a man hits, beats, makes you do things you will never want to do...your trust for everything, life, happiness just goes down the drain.

Sometimes I dream I could be turn back 5 years of my life, mabey I change somethings and nothings of this sort would be happening. Mabey If I would still be married, nothings would be happening.
The fact that My life has turned up side down, Police, stalker, been scared, having to call my friends for help, and feeling like leaving is the only way out.... sucks

Somethings you never forget. Im scared for life. Some nights are better than others. Before the nightmares would be every couple of months... now is a weekly thing.

I dont hate anyone, even though sometimes it looks like it. But some situations, there are no words.

I just hope I can be completly happy

Miguel Cotto... The best

AMAZING FIGHT....

This song... brings tears to my face

Simply amazing. It reminds me of ...

Shit.....again

OMG!!! JUST TO FUNNY LMAO

Thing we do without thinking

Its funny how wierd we can be about certain things. For example I cant leave without my Ray bans and lip gloss. Its wierd . My celpnone is part of me.. and before when we had no cell we were fine ...but now I actualy come back to get it if I leave it. The first thing I do when I wake up, is check my mail, and its the last thing I do before bedtime. If im at home I make sure my MSN is always connected. If im having a bad day, Ill turn on some jazz. I have to verify my messages and replay fast.. I hate leaving it for later. I shower with gel soap.. I hate , hate bar's. When I go thru the door, I instantly take off my earings and watch and and do a pony tail.. I hate having hair in my face. Another wired things is I drink a glass of H20 as soon as I get home. Since I have been alone I have a Yorkie, His name is Dante.. His the shit on wheels.Well this perfect pet of mine wags his tails and makes me a show everytime Im in the door.. now its like the day is not complete with out it. And every nite before bed... we play and lol. Even if he ends up walking arond the house by himslf... he always waits for me and lays down and waits for me to cover him with his doggie blanket.

Some thing I always do is no matter how much time ill be in the car.. I blast the radio.. is like I cant drive with out the radio on.. and if its sunny. I open the sunroof. Stange things that I do without thinking, but make me, me.

Top Ten WTF? US Sex Laws - Top 10s

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Top Ten WTF? US Sex Laws - Top 10s

My brother

As Im packing my stuff to start a new adventure , away from certain unwanted ...ppl, jajaja! I think of how much Im going to miss Emmanuel, my younger brother, who is more than a brother, his a cool ass dude, who is always there, in good and bad. He know's everything that happends and sticks by me no matter what. When Im down , his there with a smile and a huge hug.
I remember the night I got married... I cried cause I realized, he would not me sleeping with me , having breakfast with me, and just bugging the hell out of me.
I love you dude... and what you have done lately.. Ill never forget.
XO

MY 4TH OF JULY WIKEN

Simply amazing. Piriod

Im pregnant !!!

Yesterday morning I get an e-mail. Its my best friend/sister.....she tells me she needs to see me right away. She has something very important she would like to tell me and she needs my help.
I panic... This girl has an issue almost every day. Meet me? damn there is something wrong, cuz she cant even give me a La' about whats going on....

Come afternoon, and she call's me and invites me to Kasalta... a nice place to eat and chat.
A back round before Y tell you what happened.....
I have known this girl for almost 3 years. We have nothing in common.. nothing, she we found each other during our worst moment in life, when we thought we would not get thru our problems,broken hearts,smashed in,the lowest of low's ... there we were. Quickly we became friends, ti the point that she was there before anyone that I knew my entire life. and with tie we became like sisters. We celebrated our up's and downs and became traveling partners. We have had the most wonderful experiences ever.
We have little in common ,maybe is safe to say we have nothing in common. She is a wonderful lesbian woman who has been for many years now and she has had a very rough life. Last year on her Bday she tells me she want a baby bad. she wants to be a mommy. I loo at her with this face... How are you going to do that? I ask.
She had it all figured out. Her life friend.. This nice,decent guy she has known for years,she tells me. Long story short, he said yes and after a old fashion sexual encounter.. that for her was just ..... jajajja! like she said.. I'm never going there again... jajjajaja!!! in just one try bamm!

Back to before..... We sit... and she tells me to guess. I smiled and my eyes got teary....girl...You are you pregnant??????
And her smile gave it all away.
note: ppl... this girl is one of the few ppl I truly love. one of the reasons Ill be traveling alot back to PR.
We hugged for like an eternity... I got my wish, she said.

Girl..... I just want you to know how proud of you I am. You did what you wanted to do. To kept it real. You did it. You have so much love to give, and I'm positive you will me the best mom alive....well mabey after mine and Oh! Elsa... she is grade A!!!
I am here for you in anyway you need me. Mia Cloe or Ian Sebastian will be a very loved baby.
I an very happy for you... and I'm here girl.
Congrats!!!!!!!!! Mommy to be.